Fast yes -> panic -> work to be proud of, OR I Just Used the Term “Mental Ass” and I like it.

Yes, Grammar Police, it should read “Work of which I am proud” or something like that, but I’m posting between cleaning the kitchen, wiping noses, and trying desperately to catch up on all the stuff that keeps me from sitting down until 8PM at night. 

Monkey L. is almost back to health, thank goodness, but I feel like I’ve lost time.

The show I’m in opened finally, but I feel like I’ve lost time.

I had the absolute pleasure of seeing two shows last week, both written by people who I respect.  I still feel like I’ve lost time.

Lost time is not time wasted, though.  It just means that I haven’t been able to sit and think much about The Project or about blogging.  I keep telling myself that “when I have time” I will do it.  I will write.  I will plan.  I will do.

Of course, I need to make the time.  Time is mine to schedule, waste, etc.  The time last week was spent care giving my children.  I would have it no other way.  Seeing the two shows was absolutely critical to me as a writer and performer, and hopefully offered a wee bit of support to the authors/performers of those shows.  Being in that one show, well…I made a promise to be in it.

I am trying to say YES — a HOLY YES to opportunities, especially the ones that scare me.

I just said, “Holy Yes, if you’ll have me,” to an opportunity…more on that if it pans out.  If it doesn’t, I’ll still tell you.  It’s one of those things that if I sit and think about it, it seems really out of my league.  Those are the ones I agree to do, panic over, then end up really happy I did it.  That happened with Nighthawk Sandwich, which is one of the shows I am most proud of.

I am saying a Holy Yes to the project also, which is great.  I am waking up at 5:30 and writing.  If uninspired, I am waking up at 5:30 and doing chores that I normally save until the boys are napping so that I can write when they snooze.  If I’m feeling particularly uninspired, I sleep until 6:30 — but I believe the day-long grump that follows is The Project kicking me in the mental ass.

It’s a good feeling. 

I feel like I keep starting this blog over.  It’s as though this entry is my Apologia.

I have another two posts half-done.  I hope to get them both up this week.  One is about the local grocery.  One is about The Project and some scenes I’m working on.  Huzzah.

The Project nags at me…all my ego says “Don’t do it!” but my Spirit says YES YES YES!  Then it, too, kicks me in the Mental Ass.  There’s work to be done.


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