A Sincere and Authentically Offered Apology As Given on the Advice of my Legal Team in response to events* stemming from “Field Trip Chaperone Life Lessons.”
This Is Just To SayI have apologized to your children who were on the field trip and whom you were probably assuming I wrote about Forgive me I wasn’t even really watching them also, I ate your plums.
*Someone left a copy of the blog post and a pair of shredded yoga pants on my front porch. The joke’s on them: I’ve only tried yoga once in my life. It was a prenatal class. I never got past the downward dog. Hell, I didn’t get past the snack bar. (The joke’s on me, really, because I’m still wearing maternity pants two years later.)