D.A.M.O. (Disaster All My Own) Wednesday

Excerpts from my upcoming eBook, How to Make it Worse:

I finished the infinity scarf. It is bulky. The bulk does not hide the fact that my neck is starting to look like a slouchy skin scarf.  The bulk does hide the fact that I did not have the three seconds it takes to look up how to do a mattress seam. AM I MADE OF THE FOURTH DIMENSION, PEOPLE?

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Note my mad photography skillz make me seem like I can accessorize with a camera strap. Like a boss.

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After spending most of the fall knitting hats (N.B., I used Ron Perlman’s head as seen on a 60″ television screen as “adult” size) I decided to make myself something nice. Then I made the above circle scarf, which I wear as penance.  I then splurged on some Manos del Uruguay Fino yarn, which in a pinch doubles as a surgical scalpel.
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I was anticipating spending wonderful winter nights knitting a beautiful new scarf for my upcoming first vacation in SIX years. I will instead spend wonderful winter nights untangling yarn. Please submit new expletives for me to mutter in the comments section below.

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We had some flooding in the basement, which led to mildew and some rank odor.  Mr. Pickadilly tackled the wet carpet and padding. I tried to tackle the smell.

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When all else fails, remember that presentation is everything and wax paper goes with everything.
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2 thoughts on “D.A.M.O. (Disaster All My Own) Wednesday

  1. For those of us who have never heard of a mattress seam your scarf is a piece of art. You should have coordinated it with the wax paper, though.

    Like

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