Excerpts from my upcoming eBook, How to Make it Worse:
I finished the infinity scarf. It is bulky. The bulk does not hide the fact that my neck is starting to look like a slouchy skin scarf. The bulk does hide the fact that I did not have the three seconds it takes to look up how to do a mattress seam. AM I MADE OF THE FOURTH DIMENSION, PEOPLE?
After spending most of the fall knitting hats (N.B., I used Ron Perlman’s head as seen on a 60″ television screen as “adult” size) I decided to make myself something nice. Then I made the above circle scarf, which I wear as penance. I then splurged on some Manos del Uruguay Fino yarn, which in a pinch doubles as a surgical scalpel.
I was anticipating spending wonderful winter nights knitting a beautiful new scarf for my upcoming first vacation in SIX years. I will instead spend wonderful winter nights untangling yarn. Please submit new expletives for me to mutter in the comments section below.