Deep Breathing

It’s been a very emotional baby kinda week…

One friend is, as mentioned, going through a miscarriage.  She came to pick up her kids at school yesterday and just broke down right in front of me.  Today she keeps emailing me, probably for distraction. We alternate between us making lame jokes and her processing what’s happening to her. She has the added burden of being alone with her two kids because her husband is out of the country with his mother, who was just diagnosed with cancer.  She is exhausted and dejected. She is scared. She is where I was not too long ago.  I stay at the distance she requests (no visits, but I watch her kids at school until she is composed enough to come pick them up.)

My J. is having some sort of night terror right now. He pooped in his bed while he was sleeping and I don’t think he is fully awake. He’s been screaming and alternating between recognizing me and not.  It’s terrifying. I am just sitting near him, letting him scream, not making eye contact.  He calls for “Mommy” but pushes me away when I go to him. It’s a horrible noise and breaks my heart. It will go on for 90 minutes.

….(45 minutes later) he’s stopped. These episodes of sleep-tantrums are scary. And exhausting.

I have a friend in my mommy group who delivered her baby girl today. Mama was diagnosed with placenta accreta — her placenta attached to and then broke through her c-section scar, and then attached to her bladder. Very very dangerous.  It’s been a waiting game…delivering baby too early would be dangerous for baby. Delivering too late would be dangerous for mama.  Today the baby arrived at 35 weeks at a healthy weight. Mama’s surgery was successful. The best news was that she gets to see her daughter tonight.  She had originally been told she’d be in ICU and unable to “meet” her daughter for the first time for a week or two.

I am glad. The tantrum is a blessing.
I watch these things and breathe. I breathe.
And wait.



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