Here is a list of things not to do when someone in the house has a raging, throbbing ear ache:

1. Vacuum…especially at 8am….especially if you don’t normally vacuum.
2. Suggest taking the kids swimming.
3. Rile the kids up by picking them up and tossing them on the couch yelling, “Flying monkeys!”
4. Then walk away before the kids have had their fill of flying, leaving them jonesing for just one more toss.
5. Let ear acher know how pissed you are that you lost at last night’s poker game — a game mere days after a poker weekend. A game hours before you go to a baseball game. All activities leaving me with two toddlers. Two toddlers who have dropped their naps. While ear acher has an ear ache.
6. Hum mindlessly.
7. Tell ear acher that ear aches aren’t bad if there is no accompanying fever.
8. Eat the last of the Honey Bunches of Oats.
9. Put a spoon used to give the boys honey (cough soothing in the early morning) on to their dresser when we are battling sugar ants.
10. Put 4-hour-later sugar ant infested spoon in the kitchen, the one room ear acher managed to keep ant free.
11. Ask ear ache victim if she has PMS.

#11 is always a bad move.