I am in full-on grieving mode right now for something that is not yet lost, but is drifting away. I have a very ill child, the show is, in a word, stressful, and all around me people are miserable, angry, upset, and seem to think I can handle their emotional outbursts because I’m strong and I don’t take it personally.
I won’t meet my goal of 100 posts before April 15.
I won’t meet my goal of getting my show finalized any time soon.
I won’t meet my goal of being the writer/performer I wanted to be.
Right now, I will focus on my children and on quietly trodding through the run of a show that has rubbed a lot of people raw.
I will focus on finding more love.
I will focus on this blog.
I cannot focus on grief any more.
And damnit, I cannot continue to be this obtuse, down, and out. How totally tedious.