Author: Jackie Pick

Jackie Pick is a former teacher and current writer living in the Chicago area. She is a contributing author to multiple anthologies, including Multiples Illuminated, So Glad They Told Me: Women Get Real about Motherhood, Here in the Middle, as well as the and the literary magazines The Sun and Selfish. She received Honorable Mention from the Mark Twain House and Museum for her entry in the Royal Nonesuch Humor Writing Competition. Jackie is a contributing writer at Humor Outcasts, and her essays have been featured on various online sites including McSweeney's, Belladonna Comedy, Mamalode, The HerStories Project, and Scary Mommy. A graduate of the University of Chicago and Northwestern University, Jackie is co-creator and co-writer of the award-winning short film Fixed Up, and a proud member of the 2017 Chicago cast of Listen To Your Mother.

Get This Kid an Agent and Me a Tissue

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Scene: Bedtime for two toddlers. A father is reading a bedtime story or three. For his amusement and that of his wife and two toddlers, he changes up storylines, plots, characters, or entire subtexts. This is not unusual.

Dad: (Riffing on “Sesame Street Presents: Big and Little”) Snuffleuppagusses have big furry tails. Prairie Dawn has a little bitty fuzzy tail.

The boys (laughing uproariously): No!  Prairie Dawn no have tail.

Dad: That’s right!

Boy #1: Prairie Dawn has a tushie.

Dad: Yes.  She has a little tushie.

Boy #1: (looking at his mother) Mommy has a big tushie.

Fin.

(Boy #1 is grounded.)