Author: Jackie Pick

Jackie Pick is a former teacher and current writer living in the Chicago area. She is a contributing author to multiple anthologies, including Multiples Illuminated, So Glad They Told Me: Women Get Real about Motherhood, Here in the Middle, as well as the and the literary magazines The Sun and Selfish. She received Honorable Mention from the Mark Twain House and Museum for her entry in the Royal Nonesuch Humor Writing Competition. Jackie is a contributing writer at Humor Outcasts, and her essays have been featured on various online sites including McSweeney's, Belladonna Comedy, Mamalode, The HerStories Project, and Scary Mommy. A graduate of the University of Chicago and Northwestern University, Jackie is co-creator and co-writer of the award-winning short film Fixed Up, and a proud member of the 2017 Chicago cast of Listen To Your Mother.

Rebranding. Are Ya Listening, Costco?

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Two giggly little boys fussed around the kitchen this morning as Huzzy and I lay in bed listening.

The boys brought me a Diet Coke (for me) and a box of dried noodles (for me to make them for dinner.) They reported that they “put a finger in the frosting and then put it back.” Further investigation divulged that the finger was not put back in the frosting, but rather the finger was licked clean and the bowl was put back in the fridge.

Then they disappeared, only to return moments later, with a vat of Costco’s Whole Grain 100% Natural Sunrise Energy Bars with Omega-3.

“Daddy! We brought you fart bars!”

fartbars