Pinterest is dangerous for dreamers like me, creative wannabes who are too uncoordinated and talentless ironic and hip to fully execute the gorgeous projects that often caused millions of housewives to take happy pills to avoid close examination of the meaning of life are homey and mean adopting ten cats in the near future cute.

After a week, the beautiful scarf from hell has a whopping 5 inches of stockinette glory.  Only 67 inches to go.  That means this thing will be done in April. That is assuming I don’t have any major catastrophies, mistakes, or neighborhood kitties coming by and using it as a camp project.  Hosanna!  I will probably start Resentful Knitting mid-February.  I don’t like long projects. But this shall be done because knitting is supposed to teach me patience and appreciation for things that my children fondle after eating lollipops and cracker crumbs take a long time.

But I have your number, Pinterest, you virtual Bitch.  I can take the glory pictures, the gooey romantic close-up shots and the slightly further away shots that are what lured me in. These pictures are the gateway…and soon, after a little sample, you, too, will want to knit this. And by “this” I literally mean “this” because I’m passing this project around like an STD to anyone who wants it.

That’s one magnificent ball, isn’t it?

There. Right…there.  No, over a little bit…

homina homina homina

Speaking of STDs and projects and bad porno, stay tuned (tomorrow, hopefully) for The Broken Analogy of the Chocolate Chip Cookie (Also Broken).