Under Pressure

Can you get that bass line out of your head now? Nope, me neither.

I struggle with the failure to keep all of my goals. Not true. I can keep them all, just not all at the same time. If I want to write, I sacrifice working out. If I want to work out, I sacrifice focusing on my career. Approaching 40 is about the only thing that seems to be happening regardless of my intent.

On kinder days, I forgive myself. I have a baby. I have two preschoolers who are out of camp/school for another 3 weeks and need stimulation, attention, guidance. You know, parenting.

By 7:30, when they are all in bed, I’m exhausted. I’m spent. I feel uncreative and a total failure. For not meeting goals. For evaporating from society. For being lonely and having tried so much that hasn’t panned out.

But I tried.

The good news is, the working out is working.

But I’ll try to sneak in posts. Possibly not this week. The boys turn four on the 27th, and their party is this coming Sunday. We are apparently some sort of oddball family that doesn’t rent out a space, order in pizza, hire entertainment. We’re going Old School. Party in the Back Yard!

So if you don’t hear from me, look for me under the buttercream.

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