Motherload — Lessons We Don’t Want to Have to Teach — July 23

J. was acting off this morning. Angry. Silly. Combative.

He finally said, “I don’t want to go to camp.”
Me: “Did something happen last week?”
J: “Yes. But he said I can’t tell you or Daddy.”

My heart stopped. This was the worst moment of my life, or was about to be.

It took a long time to get it out of him. It turns out that one of the older kids has been punching J. in the head at camp for a few days.

Thank God it’s “only” that. I thought he’d been molested.

We had a good talk about when to keep secrets (when the secret will make that person happy…like a surprise present) and when not to (when keeping the secret makes you feel bad and/or someone gets or will get hurt.)

I hate that this is the world my kids are growing up in. I hate that I have to teach them to wear SPF 30 (at least) every day. I hate that I have to teach them about water bottles (and why to only use reusable ones). I hate that I have to teach them about good strangers vs. bad strangers. I hate that I have to teach them how to feel safe in a world where more and more people want the average putz to carry a gun. “For safety.”  I hate that people are debating the parenting choices of the folks who brought their babies to Aurora Cinema,and so many are so damned quick to not blame our gun laws. I hate that I have to teach them about internet safety.  I hate that I have to teach them about stranger danger and x and why it actually is a bad idea to ask for and/or accept a blow job when in middle school, because any middle school girl who is willing to do that probably has a lot of sorrow in her life and this isn’t going to help either one of you.

I hate that I have to teach them that Real Housewives, Kardashians, Brittany, Miley, and most female local newscasters are not ideal women.

But I will teach them.  I will teach them the Fred Rogers Quote:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

I will teach them to look for the helpers.

I will teach them to be the helpers.


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