Author: Jackie Pick

Jackie Pick is a former teacher and current writer living in the Chicago area. She is a contributing author to multiple anthologies, including Multiples Illuminated, So Glad They Told Me: Women Get Real about Motherhood, Here in the Middle, as well as the and the literary magazines The Sun and Selfish. She received Honorable Mention from the Mark Twain House and Museum for her entry in the Royal Nonesuch Humor Writing Competition. Jackie is a contributing writer at Humor Outcasts, and her essays have been featured on various online sites including McSweeney's, Belladonna Comedy, Mamalode, The HerStories Project, and Scary Mommy. A graduate of the University of Chicago and Northwestern University, Jackie is co-creator and co-writer of the award-winning short film Fixed Up, and a proud member of the 2017 Chicago cast of Listen To Your Mother.

D.A.M.O. (Disaster All My Own) Wednesday

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Excerpts from my upcoming eBook, How to Make it Worse:

I finished the infinity scarf. It is bulky. The bulk does not hide the fact that my neck is starting to look like a slouchy skin scarf.  The bulk does hide the fact that I did not have the three seconds it takes to look up how to do a mattress seam. AM I MADE OF THE FOURTH DIMENSION, PEOPLE?

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Note my mad photography skillz make me seem like I can accessorize with a camera strap. Like a boss.

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After spending most of the fall knitting hats (N.B., I used Ron Perlman’s head as seen on a 60″ television screen as “adult” size) I decided to make myself something nice. Then I made the above circle scarf, which I wear as penance.  I then splurged on some Manos del Uruguay Fino yarn, which in a pinch doubles as a surgical scalpel.
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I was anticipating spending wonderful winter nights knitting a beautiful new scarf for my upcoming first vacation in SIX years. I will instead spend wonderful winter nights untangling yarn. Please submit new expletives for me to mutter in the comments section below.

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We had some flooding in the basement, which led to mildew and some rank odor.  Mr. Pickadilly tackled the wet carpet and padding. I tried to tackle the smell.

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When all else fails, remember that presentation is everything and wax paper goes with everything.
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